A lot of people let go of who they were when they go to college. A lot of people create a fake identity of who they wish they were. A lot of people become someone else. Some people finally become who they always were. It seems that very few hold on, however, to their past.

But, I am one of those people.

I understand why people leave everything behind. It's hard to go back and forth between lives. It's hard to face your old friends when you have new ones. It's hard when you've changed and it seems that no one else has.

Allow me to give some background on myself. I lie frequently. I deny things if they make me look bad. I will do anything for you. If I wrong you it will haunt me for eternity. These are things I've always done. Until recently.

I let go of who I wasn't. I still lie, but not as frequently. I just want to be me. And people accept that like I would have never believed. In fact, I think I feel better about my relationships than I ever have.

I've been practicing having no shame about who I am. There is no reason to. Can I have shame for the things I've done? Certainly. But to be afraid to mention something as simple as my hatred of arrogance or what song I was listening to four minutes ago is ridiculous.

This has worked wonders on my relationships with my new friends and with my old high school friends.

I had a very tight knit group in high school. We did everything together. We still do everything together. I have a very close friend, I talk to her everyday if our schedules will allow it. It is so hard to keep in touch, but it's so worth it. Do you have any idea how great it is to be able to talk to people who have known you? That you trust? And most importantly, to talk to people that are in awe of how much you care about them? That is passion. That is love.

To the deepest part of who I am, I am a jealous person. I get jealous all the time. Though, this jealously only relates to a few people that I consider myself very close to. I've learned to overcome that with trust. If you really trust someone, you'll trust them not to hurt you. You'll trust them when they say they'd like to see you but that they need to visit other people as well. You trust them when they say they're too tired to hang out. You trust them even if you don't think you should. You do not make up the lie that they don't want to see you because you're annoying. Trust them like you tell them you trust them. Love them unconditionally. After all, it isn't about you.

I still get jealous, don't get me wrong. But it's irrational. This is someone you trust with everything, yet you don't trust them when they're not around you. Why? This is something I especially struggled with in my first few months of college. I would be talking to someone (on the phone or internet) and they would excuse themselves to go commence in social activity with the people around them. It makes you feel inferior to the "new friends." Don't let it.

I used to worry about money a lot. Sometimes I do still. It is one of my goals in life to be at the point where if I won the lottery I'd give every cent of it away. I'm not at that point. The materials of this world hold me down.

Do not judge people. Who's to say that they have done more wrong than you? Who's to say that even matters anymore?

It surprises me even now how confused people get if I open a door, pick up their pencil, walk them home, or any other simple act. It takes me seconds, perhaps even minutes, but it shows each person you care. There's not enough of that in the world. Everyone is deserving of your service. That includes people who will exploit you and use you. Relentless love is the only way to ever change the heart of anyone this way.

While I said many things I firmly believe, I think my initial point was that college gave me the opportunity to become who I was. But that didn't mean that I let go of my past. If you have good friends, do not let them go. If you're a good friend you won't. After all, those good friends probably saw you for who you really were all along. Those are people who, despite everything you have done to them, despite your problems, love you and are committed to you. Don't throw that away.

If you really love someone, and you trust them to love you, don't let them go because of distance. What's the biggest fear when friends move away from each other? Being replaced. That's how it was for me. I can tell you now, that that didn't happen. Because I kept in touch. I worked so long, lost sleep, just to say goodnight to someone. I wouldn't change that if I could.

I can tell you that I was so afraid of what college would bring. And to be honest, I hated it for the first month and a halfish. I wouldn't allow myself to socialize because I thought that perhaps I would be the one to replace my friends. No one replaced them, and I made new friends on top of it. It is possible. This doesn't just have to relate to college, it can be anything. Moving away, whatever.

Those were just some of my experiences. To anyone who read this, take what you will from it. If you need someone to talk to, I'll be here. How easy is it to talk to someone who you never even have to meet? Ask questions. Or punch me in the face for all I care. But please, don't waste the person you are. It's a terrible loss to the world.

Merry Christmas.